Greg 52

These are the things I think about: sex, money and god. These are the things filtered by those thoughts: Bank accounts, bills, flying far away, restaurants, health, fitness, diet, drinking, science, reading and writing. I think of other things, too. Sometimes I think of space travel or lions. My thoughts scatter themselves across my brain. I don't like to think about death but I do, so I use my thinking forces to banish it over into the corner.

I sometimes excuse my big thoughts and think little thoughts: Cooking, picking up crap around the house. I can get focused on little thoughts to avoid big thoughts. Big thoughts I avoid include: retirement funds, failures staring me in the face, uncomfortable truths about those I love.

I do like to think of things that aren't true: me younger, my wife younger, me a famous and retired baseball player turned novelist. (That's Jim Bouton, damn it.) 

My thinking and thoughts are really all I am, right? My body is a device for such things. I don't like when I read the new debates over free will -- that my thoughts are just another chemical mechanism that keeps me specifically and humans, generally, going. Evolving, all haphazardly but in hopeful pursuit of keeping the species here. If free will is a trick, it's a trick I'll take.

As for god, well, that's just seems silly when stacked against everything we know now. And religion is better understand as a crude remnant of humans trying desperately to keep themselves in order -- or more accurately, in line, with whatever some group or leader needed at the time. I'll say it's quite a thing, though. Human imagination is fascinating.

So, here's my imagination thinking my thoughts and hard at work: I've got a computer and an Internet and I write this word and that word and when I click a button or two, all of this flies out there and becomes available to anyone tethered to the electric world as I am. 

Finished for now. I'm going to think some more later.